Poem-a-Day Writer’s Digest Challenge #24. Theme: Moment

Life’s Awkward Moments

That moment when you’re volunteering in the hospital pharmacy, hold up a suppository and ask, “How can anyone swallow these?”

That moment when you ask if panhandling is a regional thing.

That moment when a ping pong ball hits you in the head during college orientation, and embarrassed, you fake a faint, then suddenly remember, as you’re down on the ground (wearing short shorts), that you forgot to put on underwear.

That moment when you spill a giant glass of ice water in someone’s lap and laughing hysterically while apologizing profusely.

That moment when you’re in a Pentecostal church for the first time, and someone starts shaking, and you try to get the person next to you to call a doctor.

That moment when the interviewer (at a place called “Hogi Yogi”) tells you he wants people who are hungry, and you tell him, “Well, I did just have breakfast.”

That moment when you’re at the deli, and the clerk asks what kind of fried chicken you want.  You proceed to tell him all white meat, that you don’t like dark, and you suddenly realize there is a black person standing next to you.

That moment you walk around Target with someone for half an hour before you remember who they are.

That moment when you run into someone you unfriended on Facebook.

That moment when you run into someone who unfriended you on Facebook.

That moment when a guy asks if you have a Slim Jim (as he just locked his keys in his car) and you tell him you don’t think they taste very good.

That moment when you share an article on “The Benefits of Bralessness” on Facebook, then realize that might be too revealing.

That moment when you call a “sir” a “ma’am”.

That moment when someone asks when you’re due (and you’re not expecting).

That moment when you let out a toot in the restroom, but don’t want to come out, as you know you will have to face the woman who is waiting for your stall.

That moment when you’re at the ATM in the drive through at a bank and lock your keys in the car while it’s still running, as your arm wasn’t long enough to reach the portal.

That moment when your card doesn’t work at self-checkout and the voice says loud enough to scare the undead, “Card not accepted”.

Life is full of awkward moments.
It’s a great balancing act,
dancing all the while.
Sometimes it’s a ballet,
sometimes a waltz,
and sometimes,
it’s something totally unrecognizable.

But that’s the kind of life worth living.

Poem-a-Day Writer’s Digest Challenge #23. Theme: Historic

One Woman’s History

“When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.”  –St. Paul, First Corinthians

When I worked at Poet’s Coffee Corner,
I met the wrong man.

When I worked for the Book Nook,
I met the right man.

When I worked at Herb Spicer’s Pharmacy,
I married the right man.

When I worked there still,
I had our first child.

When I worked for the Café on the Bay,
I went back to school.

When I worked for How Now Ground Cow,
I had twins while finishing school.

When I worked for Sacred Heart Hospital,
my husband died and I had to finish growing up.

When I went to the Poet’s Coffee Corner one day,
for an espresso and a beignet,
by happenstance, I ran into that wrong man,
only to find that he who had been wrong for me before,
was right for me now.

Poem-a-Day Writer’s Digest Challenge #22. Theme: Nature

Okay, I did cheat a bit on this challenge.  A little rhyme I’d written awhile back (that was still more of a “stream of consciousness” on paper than a completed project) seemed perfect for the theme, so I went with it.

How the Owl Got its Hoo

Ollie the Owl perched on a birch,
doing a little soul search.

A fragile foundling he was,
for a forgetful stork,
while grabbing a snack along the way,
had left him at an empty tree stump,
and he grew up to wonder, “What am I? Am I a What?”

Ollie peered down at Peter the Rock,
who told him it was a What,
and that because he was,
Ollie was not.

“Am I a Where?” he asked the Forest Glen,
“Did I come from you?”
The Forest replied,
“I’m a Where–
a Here and a There,
but you–you can only be in one place at at time,
so no, you are not a Where.”

Father Time was passing through,
and Ollie caught him on his way,
“Are you my father?”
but Father Time shook his head and said,
“I am the conqueror of women and men.
You are not, for I am a When.”

Then along came Mother Nature,
who told him she was a How,
and then Cause and Effect came by,
who both claimed to be a Why,
and it wasn’t till he saw Olivia Owl a hoo-hooing,
that he knew he was a Who.

Poem-a-Day Writer’s Digest Challenge #21. Theme: “What you are” or “What you are not”

I Am, and I Am Not

I am a square,
but yet I’m well-rounded.

I am white,
but I love black humor.

I am even-tempered,
but oddly creative.

My name means “Princess”,
yet I live the life of a pauper.

I am thirty-three,
but I feel twenty-two.

I am always under pressure,
but a diamond I am not.

I am a poetess,
but I speak plainly.

I am an open book,
but I cast not my pearls before swine.

I am a student,
but am not a scholar.

I believe in protecting the innocent,
but punishing the guilty.

I do not paint by the numbers,
but live by the letter.

I was born in the Eighties,
but am sometimes nostalgic for the Fifties.

I am a Virgo,
but my memory escapes me.

I am Sunday’s child,
but am not always good and blithe.

I have the heart of a Christian,
but the mind of a skeptic.

I am a woman,
yet I worship the Savior, who came to us a Man.

I was LDS,
but still I cross my arms when I say grace.

I have a child,
but the child I was still lives within me.

I have a husband,
but he is not my master.

I am who I am,
but who I am not,
is equally me.

Poem-a-Day Writer’s Digest Challenge #20. Theme: My (blank), The (blank)

My Daughter, The Warrior

My daughter, the Warrior,
fighting the forces of gravity
with the grace of Tuesday’s child.

My daughter, the Soldier,
warring for our attention,
our hearts the spoils.

My daughter, the Queen,
with her crown of strawberry-blond,
her grey-blue eyes the jewels.

My daughter, the Princess,
daughter of Eve,
child of a King.

My daughter, the Destroyer,
a one-child demolition crew
of block towers and battery mice.

My daughter, the Dancer,
en pointe with ankles crossed,
in ribbon straps and polka-dots.

My daughter, the Learner,
who calls for Bubbles out of thin air,
and Goady-Goady for no reason at all.

My daughter, the Teacher,
from whom I’ve learned patience,
and how to unwind through play.

My daughter, the Inspiration,
for writing whimsical poetry
and singing songs of Ireland.

My daughter, the Angel,
with her holographic halo
and invisible wings.

Poem-a-Day Writer’s Digest Challenge #19. Theme: Authority

The Final Authority

“So God created man in his own image,
in the image of God created he him;
male and female created he them.”
Genesis 1:27

I was who I was,
two weeks ago yesterday.
The day of our wedding then,
is already a memory.

I’d found God before I married you,
and then I found myself.
The person you wed is gone,
but you’ve not forgotten.

I am not your child,
your soldier,
or your little pet.

I am a grown woman,
with goals, ideas, and opinions of my own.
I will support you,
as I hope you will support me,
so that we can both become the best we can be.

I didn’t know what I wanted when I married you,
I only knew I wanted you.
You wanted me then–
please, want all of me now.
Love me for my goodness,
not my obedience.

We can be as different as we are equal–
as happy in one another’s successes as we are in our own.

I am not an extension of you,
but rather am One with you.
Be my husband,
my co-pilot,
my friend and soul-mate,
but don’t be my final authority.

Poem-a-Day Writer’s Digest Challenge #18. Theme: Two vowels only

This was a rather maddening challenge.  (Typically, the shorter the poem, the less inspired I was.)  But, I did it.  This squib of a poem was “inspired” by vanishing twin syndrome.  For those unfamiliar with this phenomenon, here is the definition (from WebMD.com):  when one of a set of twin babies miscarries and the tissue is usually absorbed.

Baby Boos

Abba and Anna,
two of a womb.
Abba absorbs Anna,
for Anna was all goo,
no gaa.