Life’s Awkward Moments
That moment when you’re volunteering in the hospital pharmacy, hold up a suppository and ask, “How can anyone swallow these?”
That moment when you ask if panhandling is a regional thing.
That moment when a ping pong ball hits you in the head during college orientation, and embarrassed, you fake a faint, then suddenly remember, as you’re down on the ground (wearing short shorts), that you forgot to put on underwear.
That moment when you spill a giant glass of ice water in someone’s lap and laughing hysterically while apologizing profusely.
That moment when you’re in a Pentecostal church for the first time, and someone starts shaking, and you try to get the person next to you to call a doctor.
That moment when the interviewer (at a place called “Hogi Yogi”) tells you he wants people who are hungry, and you tell him, “Well, I did just have breakfast.”
That moment when you’re at the deli, and the clerk asks what kind of fried chicken you want. You proceed to tell him all white meat, that you don’t like dark, and you suddenly realize there is a black person standing next to you.
That moment you walk around Target with someone for half an hour before you remember who they are.
That moment when you run into someone you unfriended on Facebook.
That moment when you run into someone who unfriended you on Facebook.
That moment when a guy asks if you have a Slim Jim (as he just locked his keys in his car) and you tell him you don’t think they taste very good.
That moment when you share an article on “The Benefits of Bralessness” on Facebook, then realize that might be too revealing.
That moment when you call a “sir” a “ma’am”.
That moment when someone asks when you’re due (and you’re not expecting).
That moment when you let out a toot in the restroom, but don’t want to come out, as you know you will have to face the woman who is waiting for your stall.
That moment when you’re at the ATM in the drive through at a bank and lock your keys in the car while it’s still running, as your arm wasn’t long enough to reach the portal.
That moment when your card doesn’t work at self-checkout and the voice says loud enough to scare the undead, “Card not accepted”.
Life is full of awkward moments.
It’s a great balancing act,
dancing all the while.
Sometimes it’s a ballet,
sometimes a waltz,
it’s something totally unrecognizable.
But that’s the kind of life worth living.